#74: We should ban straight men from restaurants

Death By Consumption 9/30/25 - 10/6/25 I have to warn you, I'm in the midst of a very busy month at work, so newsletter-wise [Chinua Achebe voice:] things may fall apart. It remains absolutely unconscionable that my job expects me to do labor in

#73: One Battle After Another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Death By Consumption 9/23/25 - 9/29/25 The scaffolding around my building finally came down. Over a year ago, we got the worst news a New Yorker can get, that the dreaded blight of construction scaffolding was going up for some repairs to the facade, and everyone

#72: Is everyone getting raptured without me?

Death By Consumption 9/16/25 - 9/22/25 If you're reading this, congrats on being one of The Leftovers. In the surest sign yet that our entire society has a terminal case of peasant brain, people went full-blown hysteria mode this weekend and convinced themselves the

#71: Speaking of bloody public spectacles: the Aztecs!

Death By Consumption 9/9/25 - 9/15/25 What a weird week, huh! How are you doing with your government-enforced period of mourning? I'm genuinely shocked they haven't outlawed wearing colors for 30 days, like some sort of medieval funerary superstitious ritual. 12 hours

#70: Four movies about obsessed creeps

Death By Consumption 9/2/25 - 9/8/25 Haters of weather talk look away: it's so nice out!!!!!! Honestly, none of us should be on our computers or phones, with how lovely the weather is right now (I assume the weather is also perfect wherever you&

#69: It's presidential death-watch season!

Death by Consumption 8/26/25 - 9/1/25 Summer is dead, and so is the president. Never mind that it's still gorgeous and warm out, and that he is "giving" an "address" today — I know in my heart what is true, and

#68: Mamma Mia! on Broadway is gay psychosis

Death By Consumption 8/19/25 - 8/25/25 Today was the first morning I felt a near-chill in the air in months, and I could practically levitate. The tyranny of summer is nearly over! The only bad news about this is that the subways are back to filling

#67: I am compelled to defend Gwyneth Paltrow

Death By Consumption 8/12/25 - 8/18/25 Okay, bear with me but I need to do that obnoxious thing people do and ask for Japan recommendations. We pounced on a last-minute flight deal and are going later this year for Justin's 40th, so I have

#66: Wait... when did movies get good again???

Death By Consumption 8/5/25 - 8/11/25 It's the dog days of summer, and Martial Law is coming to a city near you! I can't wait to get shot in the head by a Marine patrol for jaywalking. But, really, none of us

#65: Summer is trying to kill me

It's a miracle I even survived this past week. My high school best friend came to visit NYC for the first time since we were teenagers (shoutout to the extremely toxic 2004 drama club field trip!!!!!), chaotically arriving on a Monday and leaving on a Friday. And during